GUTTED
My body’s shaking
I’m choking on the floor
40 bullets
Seizing up, give me some more
We’re planning shows
Instead of funerals
Sober
Everyone think I’m sober
But I’m still here popping pills
It’s the wait that kills you
And not the thrill
Always been bad at sitting still
Sighing deep, still need the fill
Self improvement, prove you wrong
Nothing changes, same old song
Pulling punches, leaving lines
Heading down a steep decline
Everyone thinks I’m sober
But I’m still here popping pills
Weirded out by your presence
Ah you think we’re chill
Stuck in my head, pretend I’m ill
Therapy, still need the fill
Just one more cigarette before nervous becomes spineless
Like you said; when it rains pours - it’s almost like you timed this
Self improvement, prove you wrong
Nothing changes, same old song
Pulling punches, leaving lines
Heading down a steep decline
I’ve got everything I want, so I’m setting it on fire
I don’t want an answer, I just want to complain
Throwaway
Blinding lights, and loud noises
Your loving face, blurred by my choices
Bare feet and a hospital gown
Seafoam green, flashing red and blue
Off my face, can’t bear to meet your eyes
Bare feet and a hospital gown
Ceiling fan distorts your face
I know I’m alive by your grace
Now watch me throw it all away
Late night walks by the water fountain
Why would you climb, when you can move the mountain
Bare feet and a hospital gown
Breaking bones when I see you leaving
We’ll work it out through the dry heaving
Bare feet and a hospital gown
Ceiling fan distorts your face
Know that I’m alive by your grace
Now watch me throw it all away
Key to my face, I don’t care how you feel
And yet again, I throw your love away
Fuck Kevin Spacey
Maybe I’m in it for the wrong reasons
I’m falling out of love
Maybe it’s all of the above
Let down and pick it up
As infuriating as it is
Scum always rise to the top
It always rise to the top
My doubt filling in the blanks says, “you can’t do it, you can’t do it”
Pressure from this empty room says, “it means nothing, it means nothing”
I’m living life like the ocean
Spending time in this lonely place
Like a satellite floating through space
It’s buzzing, it’s always buzzing
Everything means nothing to me
And I’m as happy as can be
My doubt filling in the blanks says “you can’t do it, you can’t do it”
Pressure from this empty room says “it means nothing, it means nothing”
Things I think About While We fuck
Circumstantial and temporary
It ain’t no remedy, I know
To that pit in your stomach
To that tangle in your head
To this stranger in my bed
You already think that I’m an asshole, so why not act like one
Open my big mouth, and the damage is done
Does anybody feel this lonely? I guess they do
It can’t possibly be, possibly be just me and you
Circumstantial and temporary
It ain’t no remedy, I know
To that pit in your stomach
To that tangle in your head
To this stranger in my bed
These insecurities
My unkempt hair
Evidence of indiscretions
Like pulling fingernails
Forgiven, but not forgotten
Glued together, but still rotten
Tell me I’m beautiful right now
Right now
Apocalipstick
I wear my mother’s lipstick ‘cause it makes me feel pretty
I can’t talk to you ‘cause it makes me feel shitty
Oh you wonder, oh you wonder, am I still you son?
Oh believe me, oh believe me, no, you’re not the only one
I wear my girlfriend’s dresses ‘cause it makes me feel fucking hot
Like I belong in this world and it’s never ever gonna stop
I feel like I, I feel like I, I feel like I’m floating
And your side eyed stares doesn’t do me nothing
Confined to your system
Confronted and you don’t understand
Violet met with violence
You think it’s just a fad
I wear my mother’s lipstick ‘cause it makes me feel pretty
Sometimes I can’t talk to you ‘cause it makes me feel shitty
Oh you wonder, oh you wonder, am I still you son?
Oh believe me, oh believe me, no, you’re not the only one
Confined to your system
Confronted and you don’t understand
You make me feel fucking broken
You think it’s just a fad
I really don’t care
I really don’t
I really don’t care
I really don’t
Turn From Void
Take what you need, and leave the rest to me
Flow through me, my love
Our head, our heart
We made out bed in this burning house
Mirrored whispers; “I need you”
Still breathing still alright
Take what you need, and leave the rest to me
Flow through me, my love
Our head, our heart
We made out bed in this burning house
Mirrored whispers; “I need you”
Still breathing still alright
Our bruised and heavy hearts
I’ll carry them, I’ll carry them for miles
Not always strong, but always by your side
My love
Our head, our heart
We made out bed in this burning house
Mirrored whispers; “I need you”
We’re breathing, we’re alright
Take what you need, and leave the rest to me
Tamir
They won’t pay for their crimes, they own no shame
Onto the innocent the passing of the blame
Silence their violence
Silence our pain
They won’t pay for their crimes, they own no shame
Onto the innocent the passing of the blame
These tears are not for naught, like us they’ll fill the streets
They won’t take another one of our children’s life
You try to silence their violence
But you can’t silence our pain
You were so full of life
Now your name is just a hashtag